Should You Buy Non-Flattering Clothes?
This is NOT a trick question
Please note: this post discusses potentially sensitive topics related to body image and looks - I am trying to be honest and share my experience and thoughts with you, but if this is not your cup of tea, please feel free to skip!
A few months ago, I hit a style block. It started when I accidentally lost 10 pounds due to a medical issue, then gained it back within a couple of months. As I lost weight, dressing became easier. I could use my waist to create new proportions, and many of my pieces looked much better (ugh, I hate to even write this!). Once the weight came back, dressing became harder, which upset me, as I fervently believe you can look good with any body type. Over three months, I went through a rollercoaster from “some things look good on me,” to “many things look good on me,” to “some things look good on me” again.
Since then, I’ve been thinking more about “flattering” clothes. Recently, it has become a bit of a taboo word as flattering became synonymous with “slimming.” For this post, I consider flattering in a broader sense - does the shape, color, and quality of the piece make you look good (which is of course subjective and personal)? Some clothes can be very flattering but not match your personality and style, and vice versa. Note, I am not considering ill-fitting clothes here - the clothes in this post must fit well.
So should we choose clothes that are flattering? Should we ignore that and only care about the style and what the clothes communicate about us? Here is a review from my recent try-ons to answer these questions.
Flattering & my style: an obvious case
This category is a no-brainer. These pieces make the most of both worlds and are what we all are drawn to. The silk blazer in this photo from Cos looks stunning on me and is also my style, which is the perfect formula for a favorite piece.
Flattering & not my style: beware, beware, beware!
This category is the trickiest of all. I believe this is where many style mistakes happen. I once spoke with a woman wearing a size that is not always available in designer fashion, and she said she does not buy designer pieces, as she only picks the few pieces that are flattering on her and then never wears them. I find that only 15-25% of clothes I try on look good on me. Once you find those, it feels like such a catch - but I need to think if a stunning piece truly fits my style, as otherwise, I won’t wear it and will struggle to make it work in my wardrobe.
For example, this yellow or black cardigan from Cos looks stunning on me (in my view anyway). I was drawn to it and loved its shape on me. However, it feels a little conservative for me. It is sheer but wool (so unclear what to wear underneath), and the neckline is too low for practicality. I know if I bought it, I would struggle to wear it, and I’m glad I didn’t succumb.
I did succumb to the pink jacket below because it looked good on me, but I spent more time fixing it than wearing it. I wanted a short jacket that looked good, and it did - but nothing else was right about it. It’s too conservative, too cute, too prissy. I changed buttons, removed embellishments, and still have worn it only twice or thrice. “Flattering” can be deceiving, as even the most flattering piece is hard to wear if it’s not who you are.
Non-flattering & my style: it’s personal
This is a complex category. For the past couple of years, I’ve experimented with pieces that are my style but not flattering. Colorwise, I love rust, but it does nothing for my skin tone. Sporty joggers don’t look particularly good on me, yet I wore them all the time. Now, I prefer to be more reserved in this category. I know that while these pieces are beautiful, I can find pieces in the first category and focus on them. Non-flattering pieces require a certain confidence or indifference to wear, or spending extra time on styling, both of which I don’t always have.
For example, this jacket from Cos - I love the bubble shape and modern construction. It does nothing for my proportions, and I’d need to think a lot about how to style it, which I’m not sure I want to undertake. Hence, I didn’t buy it.
Another example is this green Uniqlo dress. Generally, I love long T-shirt dresses in strange colors. But the voluminous A-line shape looks weird from the chest down and makes the proportions strange, but not strange enough to be a statement. I didn’t buy it and have no regrets.
I decided to go through my existing wardrobe to see if there are many non-flattering clothes that I regularly wear. I looked at the top of my most worn pieces and could not find any clothes that I found non-flattering.
A great example is this liquid leather skirt from Tibi. I love the material, color, and vibe, but I’ve worn it once in two years. The ruched waist and big skirt create bulk, making it non-flattering for my shape and difficult to wear (e.g. requiring a waist bag or another clever styling) - and I usually do not want to make this effort.
Another example is the below rust dress from Tibi - it doesn’t look great with my skin tone, but I’ve worn it on three occasions. It’s hard to judge if this is really not a lot, as it’s more occasion wear for me, and three occasions may not seem as low as it would be for a casual piece.
So in this category, non-flattering clothes did not really reach my desired number of wears. However, there is one more big caveat - flattering is subjective, and you are the judge on whether the piece is flattering. So while I think all of my favorite clothes are flattering, others do not always agree :) And therefore, there is no objective truth - some pieces that I find flattering, wear all the time, may look not really flattering for someone else, and vice versa.
Non-flattering, not my style: another obvious case
Finally, this is another clear category. These are the pieces we do not want, do not buy and do not wear. Nothing much to discuss here - an illustration from a recent try-on is this Uniqlo set. While the pattern attracted me, I had no intention of buying it once I tried it on.
So these are my thoughts. It seems it is just like with everything - if it is not hell yeah, then it should be a no. So if you do not like how the clothes look on you, then consider it a no. However, the hell yeah is very subjective in this case, and flattering is entirely matter of interpretation of the person wearing the piece! On the other hand, if the piece is flattering, but not your style, be very careful!
This is such a subjective topic and I’d be very curious to hear how you think about these issues. Do you care if a piece is flattering or is it all about style? Do you have flattering pieces that you never wear or non-flattering pieces that you always wear? Please share it in the comments!
I had a trusted friend help me let go of 10 bags of clothes. I tried them on and she helped me keep all of the “ hell ya’s.” This process was very helpful because I don’t know what my backside actually looks like. It is liberating to own less.