Bad Style Experiment: A Feminine Ruffles Girly
Too feminine, too over the top - but still me
(In case you missed my intro, I’ve started a new experiment where I dress the way I truly dislike and document how I feel - read up here.)
My first outfit archetype I dislike was feminine, ruffles, girly. I do not know what bothers me about excessive ruffling so much. I feel almost too girly, cute, and lacking any kind of agency and power. I do not mind stylish ruffles here and there, like those of the Tibi variety, but when it is excessive it becomes somehow very at odds with both my body/look and my personality.
As the time to start my experiment came, I realised I did not have any clothes for my first outfit (obviously, since I do not like them) and did not really want to buy any, as once again - I do not like them. Luckily, there are really good second-hand stores here where you can get anything for around 7 EUR or so. I went to a couple of them and started shopping.
This shopping was very interesting. I picked up only things that I really felt strong dislike for. Interestingly enough, there were many pieces I disliked. For example, I stumbled upon a half-fur, half-knitted vest with many leather and fake diamond details. Another piece was a T-shirt with a not-high-not-low décolleté, very small ruffles, and a rose composition on top of black ruffles. I noticed that, like in design in general, when a piece tries to be everything to everyone, that is when truly bad design appears.
It did not take long, and I was heading to the fitting room with a number of ruffle pieces. I tried them all and picked up a couple for my outfit-making, both excited and dreading this experiment.
For my first outfit - feminine ruffles girly - I decided to start easy. I went to visit my brother’s new flat, with my other brother and my mom. After that, we went to a restaurant and into the city for dessert, so the outfit had plenty of sightings. Here is what I came up with.
Second hand top and skirt, Tibi Bronson boots.
Now, the top in this outfit is something - and it is not particularly high-quality, which damages its look - but otherwise it still has a direction and a relaxed vibe. However, what I truly dislike is the skirt. It feels so girly and so cute. And this does not say anything about the skirt itself - just psychologically, I cannot stand it. A recent post by Laura Kirk De Valencia raised some thoughts on this topic, and I believe I do not like these girly clothes because they remind me of women being powerless and just cute, with no say over anything. It also does not help that there is pretty bad color matching with green and yellow, which I do not really like. Nevertheless, I powered through.
My first hypothesis was that no one would really notice - and it was quickly busted. First of all, I saw my 5-year-old daughter, who reacted with enthusiasm: “Mom, you look so good!! And everything matches so well!!” (bless her :) ). Just goes to show everything is a matter of taste.
I then saw my husband, who asked, “Will you be going dressed like that?” I said yes, why. He said this look is quite summery - it is cold outside (diplomacy at its best :) ). I said, “You don’t like it?” He said, “No, it does not look very good.” We joked about going separately or meeting his friends, and that was the end of it.
We then went to our destination, and just as I took off my coat, my mom’s reaction was immediate: “Where did you dress up like that to go?” My family was making jokes about my outfit (lovingly, though), and I told them about the experiment. My family decided that the skirt still had potential, but the top was way over the top. It was quite fun for me, as we were joking a lot about how the sleeves could hide bones like in the fairy tale about The Frog Princess, and it really made the day quite fun.
For a few moments, I thought about how it would feel to dress like this in a more hostile environment, and I felt it would not be so much fun. But then we hit a Mexican restaurant, and my outfit felt exactly in place. They had colorful hats and colorful blankets, and my husband dressed with the blanket and I took a picture and posted it on Instagram - it felt like we dressed up for a specific occasion. No one even blinked; the “costume” felt completely in place.
I then came back home and thought: could I make these pieces work by pairing them with different items? Indeed, I could.
Second hand top, Unlabel skirt, Zara mules (found second-hand)
I first paired the top with a straight skirt and red shoes, and it kind of worked? The top is still super big (I think I took too large of a size, as you can see from the pictures), but now it feels intentional and balanced, not as overwhelming.
Tibi Celia drape pants, Flattered shoes, LK Bennet bag, Talje belt and the hero top
Another evening outfit - looking very promising, and I could almost wear it if I figure out what to do with the oversized back.
Tibi shoes, second hand skirt, left: Cos top (I love it and it is on sale now!), right: Tibi sweater
When it came to the skirt, I came up with a couple of outfits that I find manageable, but really, I still dislike the girliness of it. I know, I know - it is not the skirt, it is me. On the upside, my 5-year-old daughter begged me to gift her this skirt, and I gladly agreed. In the same holiday spirit, in case someone would like me to gift them the yellow top, I will happily ship it to you - please let me know!
So what are the conclusions of this experiment for feminine ruffles girly? An over-the-top outfit does not go unnoticed, for sure, and it can be hard in difficult environments. But in a supportive environment, experimentation can be so fun. And remember, I picked up clothes I truly dislike to try this out - and still could make a decent outfit by pairing them with my regular pieces. On the contrary, the ruffled piece actually brought in some patina and some oomph to my usually modern and rather minimalistic outfits. So maybe I was just imposing mental limits for my style? Perhaps it makes a lot of sense to try things you do not like and avoid limiting ourselves?
With this in mind, I was excited to move on to the next outfit I hate - an overly slim outfit. Stay tuned.